The Destroyer - Jungian Archetype Explained

We often numb ourselves with things like food, shopping, TV, alcohol, or drugs. Sometimes, it takes fear to make us pay attention again. Eventually, losing something, being scared, or feeling pain starts a new chapter in our lives. We might think we're choosing to search for something, but really, this new chapter, especially when it's about facing destruction, chooses us.

Goal: Growth, metamorphosis

Fear: Stagnation or annihilation; death without rebirth

Response to Dragon/Problem: Be destroyed by it, or destroy it

Task: Learn to let go, turn it over, accept mortality

Gift: Humility, acceptance

This new chapter in life might start when someone close to you dies, like a child, partner, or parent, and you suddenly realize that life ends. It could also start when you feel helpless, like everything you've relied on or worked for falls apart. Or it might be when you face unfairness, even though you've been good, worked hard, and loved others, but still get hurt.

It's tough to realize that not only will you die and have limits, but also that life might not have a built-in meaning. Knowing you're going to die is hard, but thinking your life means nothing is even harder. Often, the way to handle this isn't to ignore death, but to make your life meaningful by accepting that death is certain.

Everyone dies. Whether we believe in life after death or not, we have to live this life on Earth, which has both beautiful and difficult parts. Knowing life is short helps us see how valuable it is. Thinking about death can stop us from caring too much about success, being famous, or having lots of money, and reminds us of what's truly important.

No matter what we believe about life after death, if we don't accept that death is real, it will control us. Sigmund Freud said that the drive towards death, called Thanatos, is just as strong as the drive towards love and life, called Eros, and we can't ignore it. If that weren't true, why do people keep smoking even though they know it can kill them? Why do people take jobs that are very stressful? Why do people stay in relationships where they're hurt? Strangely, many of us choose things that harm us, almost like we're picking our own way to die.

We can't avoid dying, and most people can't completely stop doing things that hurt themselves. Even those who stop obvious bad habits often have other problems, like eating too much, sleeping around, or wanting too much money. It seems like we can't fully get away from the part of us that destroys. So, the question is, who or what gets destroyed, and how?

Scientists say that the universe naturally becomes more messy and chaotic over time; this is called entropy. Life tries to create order, but entropy fights against it. Many religions have gods or goddesses who both create and destroy, like Kali in India, who brings death and destruction. In Christianity, death and destruction are often linked to the Devil, who is seen as bad and to be fought against. But maybe deep down, our souls have a connection with death, which is why it's hard for people to avoid doing things that are harmful or destructive.

The Denial of Death

If we ignore something in our thoughts, it can control us. If we don't admit that we all deal with death in some way, we're trying to stay innocent, which is more about our ego than our true self, and we're denying our deeper nature. By doing this, we end up being controlled by the very things we're ignoring. Often, death and chaos take over us without us realizing it.

Most people and societies say they want to support life and make the world better. But many babies die young, lots of people are addicted to alcohol or drugs, and both kids and adults eat too much unhealthy food. We're also polluting the air, water, and food, and storing dangerous waste in ways that aren't safe long-term. By ignoring death, we've actually helped it along without meaning to. We often think of God as a kind parent who will always take care of us, no matter how old we are. This belief can make us feel safe and help us grow, but it can also make us see the sacred only as something that meets our needs, like a child would.

When we're like children in our thinking, we want God to protect us from all the scary things in the world, and to do it the way we want. But focusing too much on being safe makes us ignore real dangers, and over time, we stop feeling things deeply.

Deep inside us, there's a pull towards death that's important for change. But thinking about death and loss brings up hard questions about God and faith. For example, Annie Dillard compares a spiritual journey to a moth flying into a flame. She tells a story about watching a big, beautiful golden moth with a two-inch wingspan fly into her candle. The moth got stuck in the wax, and the fire burned its body, leaving just the shell, which acted like a wick. Dillard watched the moth burn for two hours until she blew it out. Even then, it glowed inside, like a fire seen through dark walls, or like a saint or a pure person who has gone to God.

Dillard also tells the story of Julie Norwich, a pretty young girl who was badly burned in an accident. She tries to understand how this terrible thing could happen if God is loving. She says God might be crazy, and who knows what God loves? But instead of giving up on God or saying God doesn't exist, Dillard accepts that the sacred includes everything, even the horrible things.

Dillard thinks Julie will get surgery and live a normal life. She imagines telling Julie, 'I'll be like a nun for you; I am now.' To our everyday mind, this might seem like she's punishing herself, but our deeper self understands. Our deeper self wants to love life, God, ourselves, and others as they really are, not just the nice version we like to see.

To understand the deep secrets of life, we usually have to face fear and realize that the universe isn't always nice, tidy, or under our control. Whether it's about love, birth, or death, these experiences are part of nature and are complex, deep, and can scare our everyday self.

Inside each of us, there's a part that connects with death and even likes it. In today's world, this hidden part tries to harm our deeper self to protect our everyday self. It attacks our deeper self to keep our everyday self safe. But in the end, it also breaks down our protections, which lets us meet our true, deeper self.

Suffering: Its Meaning and Function

The Destroyer is key to changing and growing. If that was all it did, it might seem okay, and we could trust that the universe is kind. But often, the Destroyer causes pain that doesn't make sense and seems pointless.

Some believe that karma and being born again explain why bad things happen, saying that problems in this life come from bad things done in past lives. But John Sanford, in his book Evil: The Shadow Side of Reality, doesn't agree. He says that thinking about the terrible things that happened in places like Dachau and Auschwitz, it's hurtful to say that the victims deserved it because of past lives.

Many things in life don't seem fair to us. This includes babies who don't get enough food, children who are hurt, people who are tortured, or those affected by natural disasters like volcanoes, earthquakes, droughts, floods, or famines. It doesn't make sense. If there's any fairness in these things, it's not something we can understand with our minds but something deeper and mysterious.

The emptiness left by the Destroyer is deeper and more weakening than feeling alone like an orphan. The Destroyer often affects people when they're doing well in life, have a strong sense of who they are, and think they can handle anything. It doesn't happen because they did something wrong. The Bible story of Job is a good example of someone who suffered for no clear reason.

Job was successful in every way—personally, with friends, with money, and morally. He was wealthy, kind, and good, but he lost everything—his things, his kids, and his reputation. The Destroyer attacks the image we've built of ourselves, and sometimes this leads to something new. For some spiritual people, this destruction lets them experience something holy, and they never return to their old life. For Job, after losing everything, he got a new life with new wealth and children. But he didn't just go back to how things were; he was changed forever by what happened.

In the story, many people try to find a reason for Job's suffering. They say he must have done something bad, or like Job's wife says, maybe God is to blame, and Job should give up. But the deep secrets of life aren't anyone's fault. If they were, we could fix everything and stop death, pain, and unfairness. Accepting that these things are part of life, even though we don't like them, lets us experience life's mysteries and still try to make things better.

We can think about life's mysteries not by asking who's to blame, but by asking what suffering is for. Maybe each of us is born and goes through love, birth, and death to grow into a better version of ourselves. This gives a chance for the holy part inside us to show itself in a unique way.

This book won't try to define God or say if the soul lives forever, but it's important to recognize that bad experiences can feel like being torn apart. Think about people who survived the Holocaust, or grew up in troubled families, especially if they were abused or hurt as kids. Also, people with serious illnesses like AIDS or cancer who go through painful treatments, or those who hit rock bottom with drug or alcohol problems. There are also those who lost a child they loved, a partner after many years together, or their job and sense of who they are. And even normal life brings changes, from being healthy and strong when young to being weak and sick when old.

Our everyday self tries to protect children from dealing with really bad things too soon, things they can't understand yet. It hides memories of being ignored, hurt physically or emotionally, raped, or other abuses. Later in life, when the person is stronger and can handle it better, these memories might come back. If the memories are really bad, they can make the person unable to function for a while. If the bad experience wasn't too severe, therapy can help the person deal with it more easily.

When bad things happen from outside, like disasters, we feel helpless, as if fate is in control. If we have a disease like AIDS or cancer, it might feel like our own body is against us. This makes us realize that we're not just victims; death, badness, and cruelty are also part of us. Understanding that death is inside us is a strong way to see our hidden, darker side.

The Destroyer is acting when we're living our normal life and suddenly, even though we're doing the same things, they don't feel meaningful anymore. Everything feels empty.

This feeling can either break us or change us for the better. Sometimes, everything falls apart, and we go crazy or become very negative. But if we can understand what's happening, we can let go of the past and welcome something new. For example, people who work through bad childhood memories in therapy stop feeling numb and start living more truly. People with serious illnesses often stop caring about things that don't matter. Sometimes, pain and sickness help us find healing and grace. Many religions say they're the only way to find this, but that's not true. If it were, programs like the Twelve Steps wouldn't help people. But they do—many addicts and alcoholics find grace and healing by trusting in a higher power, even if they're not sure what that is.

Suffering often makes us let go of things we're too attached to, like our health, money, homes, opinions, or loved ones. To learn something new, we sometimes need to release the old. We might do this happily, slowly, or even if we don't want to, but the outcome is the same.

When we love someone deeply, we often feel helpless and lose things. When we commit to someone, we give up other choices, moving from having many options to having limits, like everyone does. We're not completely free anymore. Actually, a woman I know fell in love with a man who turned out to be an alcoholic. She spent a lot of time helping him recover, going to support groups, which meant she couldn't focus on her own goals as much. Another man I know married a woman who soon after was told she had cancer and would die. Instead of doing what he planned, he stayed with her until the end.

Sooner or later, the Destroyer, whether inside us or from outside, hits us, makes us feel empty, and teaches us humility. It hurts us, but through that pain, we can see new things.

People react differently when they feel helpless. Some get so bitter that they don't see the new beginning that can come after loss. It's important to really feel our sadness and anger, then let go enough to notice the new possibilities. Having beliefs that make us feel like things are under control can help.

Most religions say we should trust that God is in charge and cares about us. Many think that deep down, maybe in our soul, we pick everything that happens to us, and we do it to help ourselves grow, even if we don't understand why we'd choose hard things. Both ideas help our everyday self feel better, knowing that even if things seem out of control, something good is looking after us. This makes it easier to face life's mysteries without being too scared or hurt.

Strangely, how much insight, spirit, or grace we get often depends on how much we've let go of. That's why many religions think that doing well in the world, like having a good image, and being spiritually successful don't go together. That's also why spiritual people often give up close relationships, things they own, and their pride. The good quality linked to the Destroyer is being humble.

The Myth and Its Function

The main part of the hero's journey is being ready to give up things, even yourself, to make the world better. Figures like Christ, Osiris, and Dionysus all gave themselves up so others could live better. This giving up is important for many reasons: when we face our biggest fears, we stop being too attached to things; when we're open to changing, we bring out kindness in ourselves and others.

In Sylvia Brinton Perera's book Descent to the Goddess: A Way of Initiation for Women, there's a story about the Goddess Inanna. She chose to give up all her power to go down to the underworld for a special experience. As she went, she had to give up all her things, jewelry, and clothes, until she was completely naked. Then, she lost her life, and her body was left to decay.

Like us, when the Destroyer comes, Inanna can't help herself. She needs someone else to save her. She's saved by Enki, the earth god, who makes two creatures from the dirt under his nails. These creatures are very empathetic. They feel sorry for Ereshkigal, the queen of the underworld, who is giving birth, and because of that, they get Inanna's body as a reward. Perera says this is like how therapy can help people feel reborn through understanding and caring. Finally, Inanna comes back to life when she's given special food and water.

Heroes like Christ and Inanna show us that we have to face death, but after death comes new life. This gives us the bravery to keep going on our path, even when it's scary, like going to the underworld.

The Destroyer with a Thousand Faces

The hero tries to keep a balance between our everyday self, our true self, and our deeper self. But many people in history have chosen to focus on their deeper self and ignore their everyday self and true self. This often means giving up things like money, possessions, and close relationships to live a very spiritual life, like a monk.

But for most people, giving up everything isn't the way. We want a life that's balanced, with both success in the world and growth in our spirit or deeper self. Still, we can learn from spiritual people who have mastered ways to clear our minds and be open without losing everything. Clearing our minds helps us stop worrying about the past or being too ambitious or scared about the future.

In this way, the Destroyer can help us. We learn to let go of things that don't help us anymore. Stephen Levine, in his book Who Dies?, says that every loss in life, big or small, is practice for dying. In the past, people thought a good life meant dying peacefully. Meditation and spiritual practices help us get ready for death by teaching us to stop wanting things and to enjoy each moment as it is.

We learn to die well by getting better at accepting all the losses and letdowns in life and seeing that every change involves some loss. Each change we go through is like practice for the big change of dying.

The Destroyer can also guide us. When we have to make big choices, we can think about death. If we let the idea of dying guide us instead of our fears or wants, we make better decisions. Ask yourself: if you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

The Destroyer also changes things. In nature-based religions, they teach that after death comes new life. We see this in the seasons: no matter how cold and dark winter is, spring always comes. These religions say that gods who die or are hurt in winter are reborn in spring. Even though religions explain it differently, the main idea is the same: death brings new life.

When we face life's deep secrets, they remove our outer layers until our true self shows, and they also remove our fake ideas so we can see the true nature of the universe. This truth includes everything from the most beautiful to the most terrible experiences. All of these are part of our deeper self, at least as possibilities, and part of the world we live in.

Accepting Mortality and Pain

When we see the truth, what we notice depends on where we look and how much we can see. It might make us face the worst parts of humanity, like Kurtz in Joseph Conrad's The Heart of Darkness, who said, 'The Horror, the Horror.' Or it might make us see the amazing beauty of life, like Mrs. Ramsay in Virginia Woolf's To the Lighthouse, who said, 'It is enough! It is enough!' even while accepting life's pain. Both reactions are part of understanding life's mysteries because they show us deep truths that amaze us.

Religions that focus on life's mysteries make us notice the wonder in living and dying, in feeling blessed or feeling empty. When Christ was on the cross, he shouted, 'My God, my God, why have you left me?' The poet Theodore Roethke said, 'In a dark time, the eye begins to see.'

The story of Dionysus shows how joy and pain are connected. Dionysus is the god of wine, happiness, and wild joy, but his followers also tear him apart. Robert Johnson says that this story is like the Christian Communion, where there's betrayal, killing, and the god turning into wine. Johnson also talks about Shiva in India, who has similar energy. When Johnson was in India, he saw a young man dancing with a whip while others drummed. Eventually, the man started whipping himself, hurting his body badly.

As he bled and looked in pain, he danced so hard that his pain turned into extreme joy, and his face changed from showing pain to showing happiness. The people in the community took care of him because they believed he was turning their suffering into joy through his dance.

In our minds, we can only truly feel joy if we're ready to face our pain. We can only become wise if we're ready to admit we don't know things. We can only feel love if we're ready to feel lonely. And we can only connect with our deeper self if we're ready to see when we're not being true to ourselves.

From Shadow to Ally

Like all big ideas in our minds, the Destroyer can be bad or good. If it takes over us, we might do criminal things. But we can also use that energy to fight against bad systems or change things for the better. Acts like killing, raping, hurting children, or stealing are the Destroyer at its worst, and so are things we do to hurt ourselves.

Even the best person will sometimes say or do things that hurt others. The Destroyer teaches us to be humble because we can't always control it, and we can't always stop ourselves from being harmful to ourselves or others.

James Hillman thinks that when we hurt or betray others, we're also betraying ourselves. When we admit what we've done and take responsibility, it helps us connect with our deeper self. In Judaism, between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, people say sorry for the wrongs they've done to God and to others, which helps them start fresh in the new year. Christians tell their sins to God or a priest and are forgiven through grace. Both religions see making mistakes and then making up for them as good, just like Hillman says that facing our mistakes and making amends changes us for the better inside.

The Destroyer makes us bad when we won't admit or take blame for the harm we cause—and everyone causes some harm. In the worst cases, people who haven't learned to control themselves or developed a sense of right and wrong are completely taken over by the Destroyer and can't or won't stop hurting others.

In a better way, the Destroyer helps us get rid of things we don't need anymore. It can help us end relationships that aren't good for us or stop thinking and acting in ways that don't suit us now. But even when the Destroyer helps us, we often feel bad about the changes it brings.

Going on this journey lets us see our own strength to destroy and to create. Many people don't want this strength because they're afraid of having to leave relationships, hurt people, or change things that are comfortable. If we feel weak, we don't have to worry about hurting anyone; we just feel trapped in a world we didn't make.

Levels of the Destroyer

Shadow: Self-destructiveness (including drug and alcohol abuse, suicide) and/or destruction of others (including murder, rape, defamation of character)

Call: Experience of pain, suffering, tragedy, loss

Level One: Confusion, grappling with meaning of death, loss, pain

Level Two: Acceptance of mortality, loss, and relative powerlessness

Level Three: Ability to choose to let go of anything that no longer supports your values, life, and growth, or that of others

If the Seeker part of us wants to go up, the Destroyer wants us to go down into our deepest parts and accept that we can both destroy and create.

In some spiritual stories, like about Columbus, people thought you could sail off the edge of the world and be away from God. But it's not going deep inside ourselves that stops us from feeling the divine. What cuts us off is when we're too focused on being good or fitting in to see our whole truth.

Facing life's deep secrets brings us to death. But if we're lucky, it also brings us to love, both from people and from the divine, and through this, we find our true self.

Exercises

Think about when, where, how, and how often the Destroyer shows up in your life.

1. How much or how little is the Destroyer expressed in your life? Has it been expressed more in the past or present? Do you see it emerging more in your future? Is it expressed more at work, at home, with friends, in dreams or fantasies?

2. Who are some friends, relatives, co-workers, and others who seem influenced by the archetype of the Destroyer?

3. Is there anything you wish were different about the expression of the Destroyer in your life?

4. Since each archetype expresses itself in many different ways, take some time to describe or otherwise portray (e.g., draw, make a collage, use a picture of yourself in a particular costume or pose) the Destroyer as it is expressed or could be expressed in your life. What does or would it look like? How does or would it act? In what setting does or would it feel most at home?

Daydream

Start by getting calm and quiet, then take deep breaths. Imagine going through your life like watching a fast movie of the important parts. Feel, see, or hear the big events from when you were a kid, an adult, middle-aged, old, and finally dying. In this imagination, let yourself 'remember' things that haven't happened yet. When you get to your death, take time to say goodbye to everything you enjoy, like people, places, activities, and simple things like the sun's warmth, a refreshing shower, or the scent of a rose. Then, imagine your body being buried or burned. After that, let yourself experience coming back to life in a way that fits what you believe.

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